Custard Wally

...no, we were not abducted by aliens

In the Beginning there was Fabulous Disaster, the Gods looked upon it and it was good. But time, much like gas, passes. When the smoke had cleared Custard Wally stood melting. We tossed around various names like Barking Sphincter, CheeseHole, Harry Arcola, Ice Cold Speculum and Stool but decided it had to be Custard Wally. After all, everyone likes custard and we all know Wally. How have we been and what have we been doing since the last time we publicly disgraced stage? Well, glad you asked! Chris had a short stint as the lead singer for a German leather band but was kicked out when they discovered he preferred spinach over sausage. David was released from Bellevue permanently and poses no threat a long as he takes his medication. Collectively we suffered from a severe case of SpinalTapitis. Our original drummer, Eric, totally lost his mind, moved to Maine, purchased a mansion and married a lovely woman with questionable taste in men. Joe "The Polish Hammer" Gurzynski decided that colitis wasn't enough and acquired carpal tunnel syndrome and severe tinnitus. For the record, Joe didn't get carpal tunnel svndrome playing the drums, he got it lifting semi-portable radiologic equipment to X-ray the breasts of invalids. And, he didn't get tinnitus from playing rock 'n' roll, he gave himself that by putting on stereo headphones with The Stone Roses on full volume and passing out drunk. Leave it to Joe to find novel ways to inflict pain upon himself. Then there was the short-lived career of young Mike. He was pummeled by the mob and that's all we can say about that. We're confident that he is safe and sound somewhere in the capable hands of our efficient government, participating in the Witness Relocation Program. Currently in the hot seat is the ever capable Mark Grieco, mild mannered school teacher by day and, er…mild mannered school teacher by night, we guess. Although there was that one time we visited his apartment and there seemed to be the faint pungent odor of sheep, which raised a few eyebrows. No questions were asked, no explanations were offered. Despite their best intentions, we did manage to get some of the drummers into the studio and during our drummer downtime we have been finishing up the recordings. We have enough material for a box set of various Jazz-Blues Explorations and are proud to announce the release of our first CD to melt down in your stereo. Custard Wally's Have A Lick is currently available for your listening pleasure. The CD can be purchased from responsible band members (Chris), at our gigs and web site. And (you knew this was coming), we are pleased to announce our first gig as Custard Wally. Mark this on your calendar…

September 21st, 1999 8:15pm
SPIRAL
244 E. Houton St.
212/353-1740

Spiral is conveniently located in downtown Manhattan, on the north side of Houston St. between Ave. A and Ave. B. Take the F train to the 2nd Avenue stop and walk 1.5 blocks east or the 6 train to the Bleeker Street stop. We promise a ripping 35 minute set of toe-tapping tasteful titillating pop tunes and several Kate Smith covers. It starts at 8:15 SHARP! So don't be late.

CUSTARD WALLY
www.custardwally.com
718/596-4841 ext 2