Beware the backwards baseball cap,
There's fruitish schmuck within!
They seem to know so little, if not less.

Drop a load,
Then hit the road after they fill your chin;
Like a terrified guard abandoning his roadblock
Between 6 hags and a buffet of cakes.
Cringing as the crones salivate,
Their ruthless jowls lash out, gnawingly masticate.

So follow me
My luscious little muffin top.
I'll sweep you off your ass and treat you right.

I have to face the fact
That I'm ridiculously attracted to you,
I've trodden in the bear trap of your delight.

I'll probably crack wise as you fidget for replies,
I'm blissfully in touch wif me inner dolt.

Your comments disregarded like the oral farts they are,
I'll humbly smooch past where the freckles stop
Then fiercely burp for more!
I'm faithful as a wart.
Fat in hand, we soak the sacred core.

Nothing's much impressive if you refuse to pay attention,
Perhaps you're looking under the wrong rocks?
The dreck is stacked against us,
We've far too many options.
You've butterscotched your boxers;
Your agenda is attack.
Your assoulmate won't text back.
He says, "Checkmate," then pees in your piggy bank.