Mr. Policeman, pleez don't beat me head in.
Authoritative fists punched close me mouth!
Ya covered up yer badges then you battened down some hatches;
Thank ya friends for me exceedingly lumpy noggin.

Thirty fuzzies on the bus,
Concussions were in store for us.
Get the rabble in a fuss by bashing in their brains.

Matted hair, riot gear,
Ringing bells in bloody ears.
I won't be having sex for years,
Thanks again, Mr. Policeman!

Brute boots kicking in me guts,
Do the mambo on me nuts.
Coughing up torn cartilage,
Some vacation!

Matted hair, riot gear,
Ringing bells in bloody ears.
I won't be sinking the pickle for years,
Thanks again, Mr. Policeman!

Mr. Policeman, pleez don't beat me head in.
Constable, pleez put away your gun!
If we forgot to pay you off;
Just tell the mayor twice to cough on the evening news,
We'll send a big brown bag down city hall.

For 'tis better to pay thru the nose than to sneeze up bone,
That's what my mommy said.
I never knew my rectum could store so much wood,
Everything covered in chocolate and red!

But the mayor sez, "Too bad."
The doctors shake their heads,
The dentist's kids are glad I just bought them a swimming pool.

Mr. Policeman, pleez don't beat me head in.
I see no further need to prune me brow!
When you commence your trouncy ways:
Just remember pleez who pays you with our taxes,
Won't you consider clubbing some foreigners?

Mr. Policeman, pleez don't beat me head in.
Officer, pretty pleez don't knee me loins!
I got over the broken ribs but I just can't forget the fibs you told the media;
There's still stars in my cranium.

But we adore ya!
We adore ya!
We adore ya!
Back the blue.