My wife starts on the 17th,
Gets mean around the 12th.
My girlfriend finishes on the 10th,
The 11th night was swell.

My secretary gave up the pill,
Skipped a cycle then sprung a well.
My partner's wife is awfully ripe,
She don't skip a night, that's right;
That witch don't skip a night.

Oh no, no, no!

Her wetty-red just never goes away,
It never goes away.
It's always in dismay.
Her visitor has never been delayed,
It's the only train on time.

Lesbos lock stubbly legs together,
Soon wing-tipped family packs get bought.
Their Aunt Rosie separated by two weeks,
Red springing leaks makes life distraught.

There ain't no no time to chill the brain,
Use cold water to lift that stain.
There ain't no peaceful days remaining cos when you add in PMS both weeks before;
Baby, you'd better find the door.
You better find the door!

Her wetty-red just never goes away,
It never goes away.
It never needs replay.
Her ruby ridge raft's ready for a change and a spin around the moat.

Her wetty-red just never goes away,
It never goes away.
Must think it's getting paid.
It clitibusters all the live long day and that it hangs around to gloat.

But all rude things must come to an end,
And that caboose will someday round the bend.
Ya know, I gotta say I sure won't miss the smell;
But will the menopause be hell?

Oh no, no, no!

Her wetty-red just never goes away,
It never goes away.
It's moving in to stay.
Her PMS has never been delayed,
Good lord, this sofa's soaked!

Her wetty-red just never goes away,
No time to get away,
I'm begging for delay.
No tell-tale signs just lava on the way,
At least volcanoes spew warning smoke!